


Christmas Eve at the MadHouse

by MadDramaQueen



Series: Adventures in the SortaMalicious MadHouse [16]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Merry Christmas!, No Santa's were harmed in the making of this story, SortaMalicious community, happy holidays, ho ho HO
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDramaQueen/pseuds/MadDramaQueen
Summary: T'was the night before Christmas in this crazy house.What happens when Santa drops by?Only chaos.





	

T'was the night before Christmas  
The MadHouse is quiet  
For once all the Vagabonds  
Aren't starting a RYOT

The stockings were hung   
And the cookies put out  
No, they're not poisoned  
So no need to shout.

From misfits to mods  
All were snuggled in bed  
While the sound of 666 bits  
Played in their heads

With me in my onesie  
Too hyped up to sleep  
I want to see Santa!  
So downstairs I'll creep

I tip-toed with care  
As I made my way down  
Then I bumped into Joe  
A Ninja Monkey with a frown

"I have no bananas,  
I'm in such despair  
I'm headed to the kitchen  
Will any be there?"

I've no time for this  
There's a man I must see  
So, down I kept going  
With joy and with glee

The Christmas tree shone  
In the living room it stood  
As it shone and it dazzled  
Like a Christmas tree should

The huge pile of presents  
All shapes and all sizes  
Lay under the tree  
Our own special prizes

As I look around  
No Santa in sight  
I turn 'round, dejected  
Guess I'm sleeping tonight.

When I hear a "THUD!"  
And a jingle of bells  
From up on the housetop  
I think someone fell

With the galloping of hooves  
And footwork so quick  
I now have my wish  
'Cause here comes St Nick!

I look at the mantle  
With stockings aligned  
I pray and I hope  
That Santa is fine

He mutters some nonsense  
Christmas magic, I bet  
As he slides down the chimney  
See? No need to fret

He coughed and he swore  
And as the smoke cleared  
I looked and I gasped  
It's worse than I feared

This Santa lost weight!  
He's skinny as hell!  
I wondered how he fit  
In that suit so damn well

"Ho Ho Ho!  
Why are you still awake?  
I have to deliver pleasants-  
PRESENTS- Oh, for goodness sake."

Ninja Joe flipped beside me  
A banana in hand  
As we laughed at the flub  
And thought it was grand.

Wait. A flub?  
And no magic dust?  
This is an imposter   
Not the Santa I trust!

I storm towards the man   
And take off his hat  
"Oh crap," I say to Joe  
"Would you look at that?" 

The man wasn't Santa  
Such fear did this bring  
For it wasn't Santa  
It was the Mad King!

"Why are you Santa?   
You're stealing his shtick!"  
I frowned as he chuckled  
He wasn't so slick.

"I have a confession,  
And please don't be mad  
But, that THUD that you heard  
That was from me- my bad.

I knew he was coming  
The big, jolly guy  
I took out my RPG  
And shot him outta the sky

I want to give my own gifts  
To the MadHouse crew  
And I'll do it myself  
It's the least I could do

So, I've made my own list  
And checked it twice  
And I can now say  
Who's been naughty or nice

From Cheryl to Lotti,   
Yuzuki and Zee  
Omega, Joe, Fallz,   
and you, dear Tabby.

And Macky, Sir Fluffy   
and witch Azriella  
Have all been good   
little girls and fellas

Lest we not forget  
My amazing mods  
And the ever growing gang  
That is the Panda Squad

You all have been good  
And I've watched you all grow  
I don't want another guy  
Telling you so.

You've stuck with the creepy  
The good, and the bad  
I want to give you the best  
Christmas you've ever had."

I watched him explain  
With a tear in my eye  
I almost forgot  
That he made someone die

"Now hurry off to bed  
I have work to do  
And if you refuse  
Then your gifts go to Stu."

My eyes, how they widened  
As Joe flipped away  
"I'm going to bed  
See you on Christmas Day!"

I waved to the monkey  
Then turned to the King  
I wanted to stay   
And watch him do this thing!

The Mad One walked to me  
And gave me a wink  
"Off to bed, TabiKatz  
Or no Pepsi to drink."

Yep. That made me move  
As I ran to my room  
I don't want my favorite drink  
Meeting its doom

But I heard him exclaim  
As I slept with no fright,  
"Merry Christmas to all  
Have a Sorta Malicious Night!"


End file.
